2weeks 1new semester and 0 ringgit

here we go again, this is usually what happens, we have an awesome time together and then we can't see each other, its kind of like i'm a little boy, have a little lick of this awesome tasting ice cream cone, wait wait wait, no you can't have the whole thing, just one lick and back in the fucking freezer it goes, and me, the poor little midget, who can't fucking reach the freezer, has to wait 2 weeks till daddy comes back to pass me another lick.... if only i had a stool*sigh* now, by stool i mean some loophole for me to see her la... that clarification was for the slower folk, but don't worry, its only you and your screen, so no one knows ur slow, except for you...,=) moving on, fuck i miss you, and our fun times together, anyway, jatuh ditimpa tangga would explain the coming week, not only can i not see you, i've got this whole new semester i've gotta go through, yea its a piece o cake, yea my course ain't shit to me, its getting to college thats the problem...

heres the breakdown
1bus-1buck
LRT to n fro-2.60
lunch- at the least 7.00
dinner-lets just say i eat at the same place i had lunch-7.00
grand total-about 20 bucks a day la.
i've gotta last till june 30th, so approximately, 37 days would be a total of 740 bucks..

i've got 30 bucks...hmmmm, beginning to see the picture?

yea, so i got a few jobs, logo design and what not, haven't got paid yet for em though, and even if i do, its only 300 bucks? i feel like a black man all of a sudden. fuck i may as well start pushing drugs or something...i've got no clue what to do... yea i know, some of you are prolly saying, ask ur daddy la... if you know my dad, u'd probly find it easier to stick up a bank, than to get a cent outa him.. an economist you see. too bad those frugal genes didn't really rub off on his second son. so, yea, if there ain't any posts for a while, its probly cuz i haven't paid my net bill, and if there are posts, i'd probly be leaching off my neighbours wireless cuz he's too old to know how a password works.

what can you do you ask?
pray i step on a winning lotto ticket=)
if you do, leave ur name as a comment, n i'd split the cash...honest=)

5 months

its now five months, i can't wait to look back at this, years from now, and have it put a smile on my face. that is all for today.jalwa u.loads

trust

To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved-
George Macdonald, he really knew what he was talking about, as i have learnt today, it doesn't really matter how much you love someone, if you don't really trust them. whats even worse is if you don't know why you feel that way, if that person does everything she possibly can for you, and yet, the very minute they say their with another person, you feel all screwed up inside. its funny how the brain controls everything, in your body,but you, have no control over your brain? i quote Graham Greene,'It is impossible to go through life without trust: That is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself. 'funny thing is that is precisely how i've gone through life, since i was eleven, till now, without feeling that its the worst cell of all, it didn't even feel like a prison, in fact it felt safe, like a home. because if you dont trust, then you dont really get dissapointed... until you find the love of your life. when you really need to trust someone, and you know that each day that goes by kills them. they didn't betray your trust, they did nothing to deserve this, and that is when you really feel like you're in that cell, locked in with a couple dozen black rapists, fucking your ass over and over as you look for that key, that way out, to find how to trust.The fact is i don't know how long i have left with her, i don't know how long she can put up with this, frankly i wouldn't put up with this, and sorry is an over used word.i'm gonna look for an answer, so i can change...i just hope its not too late, when i finally say i trust you, but you don't trust what i say..

bubble the black kitten

every morning, little bubble comes to rub his cute little torso on v's leg. his birthday was 6th january.. he loved tuna, but not the chilli one, he had a little white patch on its little tummy, bubble, rest in peace, we all love u man, death to all musang mofos.

she's all that, and she's definitely...ALL MINE

22nd dec 2008, i asked her to be with me, and she said yessssssssssssssssss..... fuck fuck fuck fuck.

ahem... anyway, so we're together now, bout 4 months and six days? something like that, and i've already screwed it up a couple of times... she kind senses that im n insecure guy, but hey, honestly, if u meet her, u'd be on my side, she's ALL THAT, considerate, caring, sweeet, funny, honest, all that any guy could only dream of having, big brown eyes that see into ur soul, long brown hair, gorgeous...owh, n she has dimples!! i think i mentioned that already.. but she's got two of em, so i guess its fitting.i really love her, more and more, each day, and i trust her and i wanna be with her all my life. now along the way, i kinda told her that i am an insecure guy, and she understood, but i can tell, its really buggin her. like she feels she can be completely comfortable with me, but she feels that im acting like, basically some stand in till mr right comes long.Well i did some thinking, and i deduced that i am mr right, and she's mrs right/mrs wrong if we're talking opposites attract k? anyway, i've put all the insecurities behind me, and i want her to know...that from now on, im gonna be the shit...fuck i beat all those numbnuts at the wedding? she chose me? why should i be wondering if she made the right choice? i should just take what i get... my little blessing from the G man up above..btw, thanks mate, u hooked me up...i love you V, ur my jai ho, and i realise that nothings gonna separate us..i'm sorry for hurting u.

fate?luck? call it what u want bitches, it fucking happened.

there is a god!!!!!!!!! three days after my articulate ordeal at the wedding, i get a call, from an unknown number, i pick up.. and its her...my sister was supposed to send my number to a friend, but as it turned out... she miss sent the number to V, yea, lets cal her that.. and so V called to figure out who's number it was... for those of u who are usually a couple of pages behind... it was my number...hehe..*clears throat* ...moving on, we talked, for a little, and i was over the moon!!.. i bought all my friends dinner... eventhough i was flat broke, and she and i had a little texting thing going on... 

continuation

that night was horrible for me, i was running errands, doing all the work, while every other guy hit on her, and just before she left she came up to me and said hey, i'm leaving... out goes avi, and in with Mr president, i said okay, see u round.... doub!!! as homer simpson would say..she walked away with her family, and it sunk in that i may never c her again... so i ran after her, to get her number... only to watch her disappear in the distance with her family... back to the poolside for me.